Image by jordanfischer via Flickr
Ok, I am coming to terms with the fact that my oldest son no longer needs me, but how do I get this message passed along to Raynard.
There is a point that you have to come to as a parent when you realize I have done, taught all I can. The rest are their decisions and their consequences to deal with. I cannot hover. They will tell me what they want to tell me, and I will be as included in their life as they will allow.
Skudro came to us tonight letting us know that he had to “work” unscheduled at 7 PM. Raynard let me know this and he read my face. “You are not believing that either, huh?” It is not even that I don’t believe it, my life has been consumed with Town Hall meetings, Cap and Trade and Legislative issues, I don’t have the energy to deal with what the kids are doing.
I am headed in my own direction of learning, failures and achievements. If my kids follow suit GREAT! They will have to fail, to know what it is to be on top, and vice-versa. In the end isn’t that the greatest joy in life, when you reach the top a little bloody, kicking and screaming?
Skudro, Squints and I used to go to Tae Kwon Do 3 times a week. I will never forget when Skud took a head kick square in the face that sent and incisor through his cheek. It was excruciating to watch his eyes roll back in his head but all I could muster the energy to say is…”You didn’t want to die without any scars did you? Chics dig scars!”
Who am I to tell Skud that Tae Kwon Do is too dangerous for him. He ranked higher than I did, and I had to bow to him. He was more experienced than me, and better at it. Trust me, we sparred more than once, he was far better than me, and had a longer reach. At home he still kicks me in the butt, just to prove he can.
So tonight when Dad was checking in on him, coming to me to give his report he let me know… “the background noise really did sound like they were working.”
“Just couldn’t let him go could you…?” (That was me, the Jewish mother by the way…)
“I just thought if he was in the backseat with Sandra I would make it more difficult!”