Learning Curve

James, I think your cover's blown!Image by laverrue via Flickr

New job still has me off balance, but I am learning. Here is what I have learned so far as what NOT to do on your next job interview, especially if it is with me.

1. Don’t tell me tell me your buddy said I should put you out where he works, and HE KNOWS they are hiring… go right to the source man, have your buddy get you the job.

2. I don’t want to be engulfed in the fog of your cologne. A little goes a long way dude.

3. Following closely on #2, though I don’t want to be in the cloud of your cologne, I would appreciate you bathing and wearing clean clothes…. and preferably not your pajama bottoms.

4. If you are being interviewed by a woman don’t stare at her chest (or in my case her waist band.)

5. Turn off the damn phone. I have a lot of important people following me on Twitter and you don’t see me checking my phone when I am talking to you. (Love you Guy Branum… sorry about the Tweet delay, couldn’t get the jackass with too much cologne away from my desk.)

6. Even if you have made bad choices and paid your debt to society you may want to hold a little closer to your chest the fact that you believe your daughter’s boyfriend is sticking dead bodies in dumpsters.

7. If you have to leave the interview to “go out to your car” at least have the courtesy to TRY not to twitch when you come back.

8. And finally, if I go to shake your hand don’t fidget with your “boys.” Makes it awkward for both of us.

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